Will My Soul Mate Be My True Love?

Is there such a thing as a soul mate, and if there is, will mine be my true love? To answer this question we must first understand what a soul mate is. There are many theories and assumptions about what a soul mate is. The theories are as diverse as they are numerous. Even the title, soul mate, has two different approaches to it; some refer to it as one word, soulmate, while others refer to it as two words, soul mate. True love also has a similar issue as to what exactly it means, but when we look at the word, true love, most of us will assume that our’s will be our soul mate. Even though that might be true, true love may be very hard to find.

It is a common assumption that someone's soul mate is their true love: the one that they're destined to be with; they will be drawn together by a supernatural force. Aristophanes contributes to the argument of what a soul mate is in Plato's Symposium: “'So I shall now cut each of them in two' ... he [Zeus] cut those humans in two … Now, since their natural form had been cut in two, each one longed for its own other half.” This statement, though a little strange by what we believe to be true by today's standards, does illustrate the fact that soul mates will feel a very strong attraction for each other.

A dictionary definition of soul mate from Merriam-Webster is: 1: a person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament; 2: a person who strongly resembles another in attitudes or beliefs. This definition seems to fit with the previous assumptions since it states that two people will be perfect for each other in likeness and mindset.

We can assume all of these explanations are relevant in the sense that they all show the idea that soul mates will be attracted to each other. With the mythological definitions, this attraction would be so great that the only way anyone could understand its strength is if they have experienced it themselves.

Now, let's examine true love. Hollywood has the largest hold on what our idea of true love is. We see it in many movies and television shows; everything about the other person is wonderful; nothing can come between us; the other person's faults aren't noticed at all; true love is the most wonderful feeling attainable in life. These ideas all are commonplace in movies and television shows. True love may be the only thing that sounds to good to be true, but actually isn't.

According to many theories of reincarnation, your true love may not be your soul mate, but your soul mate is definitely your true love; in this lifetime you may never find your soul mate, but you may be able to find your true love, since true love is a human concept, and soul mate, is a mythological, or even spiritual, concept which human life holds no bounds on. If you can find your soul mate, rest assure it will be your true love since such an irresistible attraction and likeness of a soul mate is as strong as it can be:

“I love her more than any one man could love another woman, she is my everything, she consumes me and completes me. I am grateful for every moment spent with her and I look forward to our life together with assurance that we will be together forever and an understanding of what it truly means to be a soulmate in love.” (Rich and Martina’s SMR from http://www.nderf.org/Soulmates.htm)

Comments such as this one are more than just fancy words. If you've ever felt anything like this, you can understand the true meaning behind the words. I have had such a privilege to find my soul mate, and am very happy to be engaged to her.

In a recent poll on About.com, thirty-nine percent of 1349 total votes said they believed that they married their soul mate, while thirty-two percent said they did not. Twenty percent said they thought they did, but they were wrong, and seven percent didn't believe in soul mates. Looking at these numbers, most people do believe in soul mates, and quite a few believe they have found them. This information may leave people who are unsure if they have a soul mate feeling a little better with the fact that so many people believe that they have found theirs. Unfortunately this can also leave people with a false sense of hope. (As previously stated) you may never find your soul mate in this lifetime, and some people may have such great expectations about what their soul mate will be, that they'll ignore other possible relationships that present themselves in hopes of finding their one true love.

For most of us that believe we have a soul mate, we think that when we find them we will know instantly that there is something extremely special about that person: we will have an uncontrollable attraction to them. T. Bryam Karasu, M.D. has another view to share. “Although it occasionally occurs in an initial encounter, soul mateness is developed over time. A soul mate is not found but cultivated.” A response to this theory could be that the mainstream ideal of a soul mate (the one who most people believe is their true love) is still true, but what we are experiencing in finding our soul mate is something that has been cultivated and grown through many human lifetimes. For example: two thousand years ago you had an attraction to another person, married them, and spent the rest of your lives happily together. Over many more lifetimes you were able to find this soul again and again, each time becoming more strongly drawn to them, until this latest lifetime, when you met them and at once you knew that you would never want anyone else again. This theory doesn't work with the common assumptions of soul mates in the fact that you have to work at being “soulful” to allow yourself to be in a position to cultivate your soul mate. Most common, metaphysical, and spiritual assumptions state that you are just automatically drawn to your soulmate; you don't have to work at finding them because when they are there, you will notice them. Although Karasu states that the attraction between soul mates takes time to develop, and more time to become stronger, he also agrees that “There is no stand-in for a soul mate.” Most importantly, he also believes the concept of a soul mate to be very true.

Only a small amount of people don't believe in soul mates and there are countless theories as to what one is. With so many theories stating that you will be very strongly attracted to your soul mate, and you be perfectly suited for each other, it seems safe to assume that your true love will be your soul mate, and yes, everybody has one. You may not find them in any reasonable amount of time, but according to the theory of reincarnation you will find your soul mate eventually, whether in this lifetime or another.